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Louisiana Tourist Accidentally Enters Gay Bar in Santa Monica

Billy Bob Baker

Santa Monica CA:  Billy Bob Baker encountered the shock of his life last Saturday when he unexpectedly found himself at a popular Santa Monica Gay Bar.  Baker, who hails from Shreveport (voted the #1 most redneck city in Louisiana), was visiting Southern California for his Bruncle Clem’s wedding/baby shower.



“Bo, Big Jim, Little Jimmy, and Buck decided to thrown on our good jerseys and baseball caps and hit Rick’s Tavern in Santa Monica.  We was mindin’ our own business and hittin’ on these chicks.  We bought them some PBR and Jagermeister shots and after a spell, they asked us if we wanted to come to a cool bar down the street.  They were purty enough so we went along.”

The Birdcage

The “cool bar” that “these chicks” were referring to was The Birdcage in Santa Monica which opened it’s doors in 2016.

“Buck started to get a little suspicious when he saw that them bartender dudes didn’t have no shirts on, but I thought that is how it is done in Cali.  Everyone seemed friendly enough but when we seen these two fellers kissing, we knew that we weren’t in Shreveport any more”.

When later interviewed, the “chicks” explained that they thought it would be hilarious to bring these guys to a gay bar.

“Like OMG, these dudes, like, they were so like, from the south, and like Buffy and I like thought it would like be hilarious like to take them the The Birdcage” said Blair, one of the “chicks”.  “So like, I grabbed Buffy like, and said like, we should tooooootally like take these guys to The Birdcage.”

Witnesses reported that Buffy responded with “Like … totally”.

As soon as Billy Bob realized the predicament that he was in he rounded up his clan for a quick escape.

Miss Carter

“I grabbed all them folks I came with to get out of there but we couldn’t get Little Jimmy to leave.  He was dancing with some girl (who later turned out to be local drag queen Miss Carter) and said that he wanted to stay.  Little Jimmy never showed up at The Greyhound station the next day and we haven’t seen him since.”

Billy Bob and the rest of the clan will be coming back to Southern California next June for Little Jimmy and Miss Carter’s wedding.


Posted in Fake News.