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Farmers Market Etiquette


Why I am fat

This kid could walk

I love food.  I love to cook and I love to eat.  I especially like to cook and eat things that make me feel superior to you.  This is why I love to visit the Santa Monica Farmers Market on Wednesdays.  The food is fresh and the selection is great.  The only downside is, of course, the people, specifically parents with strollers.

The Farmer’s Market is located on Arizona Blvd.  There booths are located on either side of the street which leaves only a ten feet pathway for shoppers.  Dodging the hundreds of geezers and hipsters who frequent the Farmers Market is difficult enough without the presence of strollers (or prams as they are called in some countries).

As you read this, you may come to the conclusion that I don’t like children.  That is not true.  I love children.  I just don’t like your children.  Having children requires sacrifice.  That is why my wife and I have chosen not to have children.  Basically, we are selfish (so my mom tells me).  Just because you have chosen to accept the sacrifice of having children doesn’t mean I have to bear the burden of your selflessness.

If your kid is old enough to drive, he doesn’t need to be in a stroller

C’mon parents, your child has legs and can use them.  He is already looking a little pudgy and is well on the way to being another obesity statistic.  Make the little bastards walk and clear the path in between me and my heirloom tomatoes.



Posted in Cooking, Fine Dining, Misanthropy, Really?.